Putting yourself out there is really hard. I know, because basically my business requires it all the time. And if you want to build a business, you’ve got to do it.
The voice of fear likes to whisper in my ear, every time I put myself out there.
What if this time, I’ve shared too much?
What if this is the part of me that drives people away?
What if I share this sacred moment or feeling, and they hate me for it, or judge the special things I shared?
What if they think I’m being manipulative when I’m sharing my story?
I don’t know what the voice of fear whispers to other people, but I know my voice of fear. I also know that for me, when I’ve pushed past it and moved forward, my business has grown. It doesn’t always grow in leaps and bounds in that exact moment, but when I pour myself wholeheartedly into every piece of content I create, that’s when I create deep, lasting connections with my tribe.
And really, marketing is really just about making connections, if you’re doing it right.
It’s not about “getting out there” – because getting out there for the wrong people isn’t going to help your business.
It’s not about how many shares you get, because if the people sharing it aren’t sticking around, then that’s useless too.
It’s really about connecting with people. And in order to do that, we have to open up. To share our feelings, experiences and emotions. We have to share the tender parts that we don’t like to talk about, the things that hurt us, and sometimes we have to share what the voice of fear whispers to us, so the people we are reaching out to understand us.
Here’s the thing about overcoming the fear of “marketing” – or sharing all of yourself with your audience. It never gets less scary. IT just becomes different.
It’s a lot like learning to live a healthy lifestyle. Right now, it might feel like you can’t be “healthy” and market yourself and what you do. I get that totally!
My family’s health journey & what it taught me about fear and marketing
My husband and I aren’t small people. During one of the most stressful times in our life, when everything in our marriage was a struggle, we both buried our feelings into unhealthy food and we both gained a lot of weight. As we realized this destructive pattern in our lives, we started taking little steps toward being healthier. Both of us were at the point where we really believed that we didn’t know if we could lose the weight, but we were at least going to give healthier living our best shot.
We started exercising. We started eating healthier, holding each other accountable to not eating a bunch of crap all the time sabotaging ourselves from hitting out goals. We celebrated each other’s wins and healthy choices and cheered each other on at each win, no matter how small it was.
I haven’t arrived at my ultimate goal on my health journey, but I am making progress, and I really never would have believed I could be where I am today.
As we learned how to live a healthier lifestyle together, I realized a lot about myself and my relationship with the voice of fear. When the voice of fear became irrelevant to me, I was able to take action consistently.
Now, I wanna take a second to point out that I didn’t say I did it perfectly or that I mastered anything. I just kinda did it. I knew that at the end of the day I might not be doing “The right things” to burn off the excess fat, but I knew that taking action would either:
- Get me the results I wanted OR
- Teach me how NOT do to it, so I could get better
And marketing is the same exact thing. It’s not about doing it perfectly. It’s not about getting an immediate result. It’s about taking intentional, and sometimes messy action while you figure out what you need to do in order to get the results you want.
Yup, sometimes people don’t like you. Sometimes you’re going to say something that turns people off or makes them hate you – THAT’S A GOOD THING.
Everything you say that turns off the wrong people, makes the people who love what you have to say, even more in love with you. You’ve got to turn off the wrong people in order to turn on the right people to your message. THAT is what marketing is.
So, being scared to put yourself out there is a lot like being scared of your new exercise program. Yes, you’re probably going to have sore muscles after your workouts, but that’s just part of the process. The more muscle you’re building, the more fat you’re getting rid of. And the more people you turn off by sharing yourself, your story and your experiences and opinions, the more you’ll run off the people who aren’t your tribe, and the more you’ll create attachment and trust with the people who will eventually be your tribe, and maybe even your paying customers.
Don’t be scared. Be excited! You have an amazing opportunity when you share yourself to create amazing relationships with people who otherwise you might never meet.
One more thing. Each Archetype is comfortable with different levels of publicity. Some types, like the Celebrities, love being in the spotlight, and they crave it! Other types, like the Nurturers might want to focus more on others, instead of sharing their own story. Knowing your archetype is important to realizing how you can embrace marketing, through understanding how you relate to money, business, and how you handle relationships with the people around you.
If you don’t know your Sacred Money Archetype, you can find out with this quiz!